A baby is born, but two births occur. The day you meet your baby, you will also meet yourself as a Mama. A whole new you. A woman who is familiar yet foreign. An identity that is so interwoven in and dependent upon the existence of another being- there is really nothing else like it on this Earth. It’s a huge shift not just in your life, but in your identity, which at times can be tricky to navigate.
I want to share a few tips on how to gently and lovingly meet yourself as a Mama, so that you can step into Motherhood with confidence and full acceptance of your transformational ‘Mamamorphesis’.
The ‘old you’ isn’t gone… she’s evolved. (Just like a butterfly emerging from the cocoon... corny but true!)
It can be confronting to feel like you’re suddenly a whole new person. But whilst your title, schedule, priorities and demands may be totally different now (not to mention your body can look and feel unfamiliar too), the core of who you are is still within and remains true. I’d encourage you to journal about the things that have always been important to you and then also write down how you’ve grown and changed from your pregnancy, birth and early motherhood experience. This will help paint a clear picture of how becoming a Mama has not suppressed you, but expanded you in many different, beautiful and sometimes unexpected ways. My journey into Motherhood changed my perception of my physical and mental strength and the power of trusting the innate wisdom within my body. That was truly one of the most incredible gifts I received from the experience (aside from my daughter of course lol).
Make time to revisit the real you
In those early days with your babe it can be tricky to find time and space for yourself, but I urge you to accept any help that is offered and do something you loved or enjoyed before Bub arrived, to help keep you in tune with your true self. For me, it was returning to my Bikram Yoga class. I needed to heal physically before this was possible, but once I attended that first class I felt such a strong sense of self and satisfaction. I was so incredibly grateful for taking that time to reconnect with myself- it filled my cup right back up. For you it might be catching up with a good friend, making time for a short meditation, or going to the beach for a swim- maybe it’s just enjoying a cup of tea and a good book uninterrupted, but whatever it is for you, do what you can to make it happen- I promise you won’t regret it.
Envision the Mama you want to be
Motherhood is no walk in the park. It’s so incredibly joyful, but there will be countless challenges and at times you will be tested. It’s a good idea to create a beautiful vision of the Mama that you aspire to be, so that when those challenges arise, you can meet them with confidence and clarity. If you’re a visual person, you could create an inspiring Pinterest board of qualities you want to possess or affirmations that will keep you inspired and in check. You could follow relatable and aspirational Mamas on Instagram so your feed is full of inspiration as you scroll. If you’re more of a writer, you could journal or jot down the traits you wish to portray as a Mama. Maybe before bubs was born you were super-organised and right now you may not be feeling so organised, but it’s still a core part of who you are- write that down as a beautiful trait you possess.
Remember we are envisioning our ideal self as a Mother- it doesn’t mean you have to be displaying all these qualities right now- especially if you’re in the newborn bubble! Just be present in that beautiful, demanding season. But the point here is to create an inspiring vision you can strive for and remain grounded in.
Maybe you want to be patient and when your little ones test you, you have relaxation and mindfulness skills that you can pull out to keep your emotions in check. Whatever it looks like for you, you will benefit greatly from creating positive associations around your new identity as an amazing, beautiful and capable Mama. Tough times will come around, so in those challenging moments you can think of your ideal Mama and ask yourself 'what would she do right now?' and then act in accordance with that.
The ideal Mama that I want to be is an authentic, energetic woman who helps her children to feel safe, loved and confident, her family to feel supported and treasured, her friends to feel valued and heard and her clients to feel inspired and bloody unstoppable.
As women we undergo such a profound transformation the day we become Mamas. The above tips can be a good start to help you meet your new self in a loving and gentle way. If you feel you’d like to continue this work, or maybe you need a bit more support, I’d love to guide you through that. Book in for a complimentary Discovery Call here and we can explore what your Mamamorphesis looks like for you!
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