Grab a cuppa or a cheeky drink and get comfy... if you've got a few minutes, I'd love to share the story of my daughter Poppy's birth and the day I became a Mother with you.
Poppy was born on Monday April 26 after 18 hours of labour, including 6 hours of active labour, followed by 19 mins of pushing... in the hospital bathroom of all places!
The day before she arrived, on ANZAC day, I said to my husband Jason "Imagine if we have the baby today and it's a girl and we name her Poppy- how fitting would that be?" We didn't know if we were having a girl or boy, but we did have our names chosen.
The day went by and nothing happened, 'damn' I thought... that would have been cool. I climbed into bed around 10:45pm with my wrist-guards on (thanks Carpal Tunnel Syndrome) and started snuggling my massive pregnancy pillow, man was I tired... "Ouch!" I said out loud. I felt a sharp pain 'down there' and then a little 'pop' inside me and a trickle in my undies- oh my god... it's happening!!!!
I ran into the ensuite and sat on the toilet- I yelled to Jason that my waters had broken! We were both so excited, but also a little nervous. I knew it could still be quite a while before I was going to meet my baby, but I also knew this was it.
I called the midwives and they advised me to come into the hospital to check everything was ok with me and bub and then we would go back home. I wanted to labour at home for as long as possible, so this plan sounded good to me. My Mum was down from Brisbane and staying with us- she was so excited that her first Grandchild was arriving soon. Her and Jason suggested we pack the hospital bags in the car just in case. I felt like this was unnecessary, as I was sure as a first time Mum I would be sent back home to labour until things picked up. Luckily they didn't listen to me and packed all the bags anyway.
We got to the hospital at midnight and they hooked me up to the monitors. During the monitoring I started feeling some tightenings, but unfortunately after half an hour they weren’t happy with bubs movements (or lack there of) and told me I’d need to stay in hospital and that they would induce me at 6am.
My Mum had to go back home, but Jason stayed with me in a tiny examination room- think small hospital bed, chair, desk and computer- like a doctor's office, but half the size. Luckily there was a toilet attached to the room though because my waters were still coming. Jase and I tried to get some sleep (him on the chair with his head on the desk), but within half an hour my surges really started. He let the midwives know and they eventually moved us into the labour and delivery room. Jase called Mum to let her know things were happening.
My dream was to have a water birth or at least be able to labour in the water, as I'd been suffering from bad swelling from about 20 weeks, so thought if I could labour in the water it would be the most comfortable place. But once I entered the room, I saw there was no bath and so I had to drop that dream like a hot potato... which I did. Me and bubs were then continuously monitored for the rest of the labour, which restricted my mobility a fair bit. I was so, so swollen and found it hard to find comfortable positions, I just kept ballooning, and it didn't help when they gave me a drip of fluids too!
I had studied Hypnobirthing though (highly recommend), and I managed the contractions really well by just breathing. Jason didn’t leave my side and was an incredible advocate for me. I could feel my Mum's presence, but she consciously remained in the background, there if we needed, but respecting the space for me and Jason.
I was surprised that my word of the day was ‘no’, as I am not someone who says no a lot...
I’d done all this preparation and thought I would want all these things, but when it came to crunch time, I just wanted to focus on my breathing... Sarah do you want your twinkle lights? No. Would you like some coconut water? No. Do you want your essential oils? No. Want to listen to your hypnobirthing tracks? No. Do you want to go in the shower? No.
I was just in my own little world, with absolutely no concept of time- just focusing on each surge as it came. The pain was intense, but such different pain than I'd ever felt before- so much pressure, but it was definitely manageable as it came and went and I had little breaks in between.
I asked for more cervical checks than I thought I would, too. In the moment I felt it was the only way to know my progress. It did feel like I was taking forever to progress. At one point early on I asked for a check and the midwife said she needed a second opinion. In my mind what I thought that meant was 'Oh my god this amazing first time Mum has progressed faster than I've ever seen before and she's already 10cm dilated!' Alas, she was a newer midwife and just wanted a second opinion to back up what she thought- yep I was only 4/5cm. Damn!
A few hours later, I suddenly felt my body start pushing the baby down. I’d read about the fetal ejection reflex, so I knew I must be close to the end. But once my body started pushing a Doctor came in wanting to examine me. He said I’m only 6cm and to STOP PUSHING! Well that’s when I lost my cool a little... I felt like I had no control of my body. My body was pushing but it apparently wasn’t ready? How could that be? I was SO afraid of tearing!
I asked the Doctor "can I get an epidural?" because I felt it was the only way to shut my body down and stop it from pushing (I should have known I was in transition in this moment haha). The Doctor was more than happy for me to get one and said he would organise it straight away- I had felt the Doctors were judging me the whole time I was refusing pain relief. It was like my demeanour of being calm didn't match what was actually happening within my body, so they kept threatening induction even though I was progressing well and 100% in labour.
Knowing the last thing I wanted was an epidural, Jase was amazing and stepped in. "Ummm could we maybe start with the gas?" he asked- and so we did.
I’m so grateful he said that in that moment, as I truly believe everything would have gone differently otherwise.
Fifty minutes later I’m trying to use the gas, still contracting and my uterus is still pushing on its own sometimes. By this point I’m exhausted. And I was feeling so much pressure in my butt- maybe I needed to go to the toilet?
Jase had noticed each time we went into the bathroom together I would have three or four strong contractions close together, so he got me back in there. As I sat on the toilet, the midwives said baby wasn’t happy with that position and that I’d have to stand up. Jason held me up at this point. Then the midwives came in and said those magical words...
"Sarah I can see the head! You can push now!"
Oh the relief! I’d dilated from 6-10cm in just under an hour.
"Sarah do you want to touch your baby’s head?"
"No."
(But this was on my birth plan... and luckily the amazing midwives didn’t give up on me) "Ok Sarah you can touch your baby’s head now and then on the next contraction you’re going to pull her out yourself ok??"
And so I did.
I birthed my baby standing up, in the bathroom and I pulled her out myself, with Jason supporting me and the midwives at the ready to help.
It was INCREDIBLE. I don’t remember feeling any pain in those last few minutes.
Because Jason and I were standing face-to-face and I was leaning against him, he actually felt our daughter move down and out of my belly as it deflated. I thought it was so special that he got to experience that.
Our surprise baby was a beautiful little girl. The whole experience was pure magic.
My Mum captured some incredible photos of the birth, which I'm so grateful for.
I only had one tiny little tear that needed one stitch. The placenta came about fifty minutes later, luckily we didn't need to intervene as it was being a bit stubborn. But at the end of the day, my baby was healthy, I was healthy and Jason and I felt on top of the world.
Poppy was here.
I am absolutely fascinated with birth, so would LOVE to hear your birth story/stories if you're willing to share! I'm also happy to answer any questions on Hypnobirthing if you're interested- it was the single best thing I did to prepare for the birth.
For those of you who are yet to give birth and may be feeling nervous- I'd love to work with you to help you prepare for this life-changing experience with an attitude of calm confidence. I also understand that every birth experience is different and each has it's own unique challenges and circumstances.
Some Mamas may have had an experience similar to mine, whereas others might have been quite different- but each experience is totally perfect and as a Coach, I can help you reconcile whatever that day looked like for you.
Click here to book your complimentary Discovery Call and remember, regardless of how your birthing day went, you are remarkable because you did it Mama.
And to all you future Mamas... you've got this.
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